Ways to override your excessive thinking.
Do you stay hooked after an argument about what you
said wrong or what you could have said? Is it hard to sleep at night having you
worst after a small mistake at work or after undergoing a routine medical
control?
You're not the only and, in fact, is increasingly
growing number of women (and men too) who think too much of themselves
prevented the development of a fulfilling life.
This report will show you how to get rid of those
excess harmful thoughts and strategies will raise you to regain control of your
life.
Excessive thinking exhausts us.
Think is fine. Living a rational and positive life
is the best thing to happen to us. But when our mind is mulling over our
thoughts produce negative feelings unnecessarily, it leads to "yeast
effect", as called Susan Nolen-Hoeksema in his book "Women who think
too much" (Ed. Paidos).
It is excessive thinking that takes place from a
small idea or problem, which happens to generate more and more questions, new
relations of ideas (all with the same common, problematic and full of fears
denominator), generating other negative thoughts they expand, grow and
eventually seize all the space of our minds.
The result is exhausting. Far from finding answers
or valid solutions ended up in a dead prey out of feelings of victimhood
("I cannot leave it", "I'm as helpless as I've ever been"),
anxiety ("this ends") and depression ( "My life is
worthless").
We think too much when we get caught by torrents of
negative thoughts and feelings that overwhelm us and disrupt our daily
functioning and wellbeing.
1. Why is it bad to think too much?
When thought is constructive and creative, and
provides solutions, it is never too as it stops at the end of the process and relaxes
immersed in a satisfactory feeling of "mission accomplished".
Excessive thinking, however, is harmful because it
affects our ability to obtain answers and solutions to our problems, produces
demotivation and creates new problems; we locked in a repetitive position away
just our friends and family (who still relying on first end thereof being
helpless prey depletion) and eventually can destroy our physical and emotional
health. Excessive thinking can ruin relationships.
Nolen-Hoeksema as "women are twice as likely as
men to fall into a deep or suffer from anxiety, depression and it seems that
one of the reasons this is so is precisely our tendency to think too
much."
Negative effects of excessive thinking.
It makes life more difficult. The tensions that you
face you look older; more difficult to find appropriate solutions and more
likely that your reactions are most vehement and counterproductive.
It damages your relationships. You can annoy other
people with your overreactions, but also even your best friends can finish
bored by the relentless repetition of the same problem and powerless over your
lack of responsiveness and attitude to solve the problem decisively.
It can even cause serious physical and mental
disorders such as gastritis, headaches, hypertension, or depression and
anxiety, and substance abuse like alcohol, coffee or snuff.
Are you thinking too much?
Test to assess if you think too much.
When you're upset, sad, depressed or nervous, how do
you usually react?
Answer the following questions with responses:
"never", "rarely", "occasionally", "often",
"usually" or "always".
Pay attention to your responses to honestly define
what they usually do in such situations of sadness or disgust, not what you
think you should do.
I think of how lonely I feel.
I think I feel tired and sore.
I think about how much it costs me to concentrate.
I think that I am energized and unmotivated.
Or blamed me or give me grief because I cannot get
up and do something positive.
I give round and round to a recent situation with
the hope that it would have been better.
I think the sad and distressed that I feel.
I think of all my faults, failures, shortcomings and
mistakes.
I feel helpless and guilty for not doing anything.
I think, I am a failure, why I am not better to take
my life?
If you answered "never" or "almost
never" to all of them, or "occasionally" just a few:
Congratulations! You have developed excellent strategies in your own struggle
against excessive thinking.
If you answered "often", "almost
always" or maybe "forever" to several questions, you are prone
to worry about your feelings and your life rather than deal in an effective
manner with your mental and emotional life.
Why we give more laps to things women?
While it is true that women suffer more from the
consequences of excessive thinking (depression, anxiety, excessive worry), so far,
no evidence that the cause lies in a biological trait as female hormones or
organization of our brain.
Today, the research points to causes of social,
cultural and psychological.
Women think more because they have more things to
think about. The demolition charges that accompany excess family, social,
professional and personal responsibilities, and (paradoxically) less social,
political and economic power makes chronic tensions that perpetuate a habit of
thought and constant conflict resolution established.
Women are more social relationships and become more
involved personally. This makes them permanently concerned (by their partners,
their children, their parents, their friends) and distressed by the
consequences it can have on their relationships the least of the changes. The
worst is that they tend to base their self-esteem and well-being in how their
relationships work and what others think of them, so that, at times, and with
the intention to please others choose to do what they do not want and make
wrong decisions in their lives.
Moral support women seeking other women can create
vicious cycles of excessive thinking and victimhood. The sense of loyalty and
empathy can cause some women let themselves be drawn by heavy-corrosive
thinking of the friend who needs to be heard, avoiding questioning their
thinking and to curb their excessive distortion of things for fear they will
not feel understood or, even more, to make you feel betrayed.
Excessive thinking creates negative moods that can
stain the quality of your thoughts so much that you end up with a distorted
view of the facts.
Worst of all, you can make wrong Based on those
negative thoughts decisions.
Attention:
When you look overthinking prey, do not make
decisions.
Leave them for later when you feel more relaxed and
with a more comprehensive and positive thinking.
2. I think too. How I can get rid of this
habit?
The first step towards liberation is to break the
ties: observing our thoughts and learn to detect when they are starting to
ruminate too much and too much of a useless and tiresome way; misidentify us
with these thoughts, we define as evil for us and we decided to stop them to
prevent us from sinking.
The second step is to drag us out of the mud and put
us at a distance that allows us to see things clarity and perspective to make
the right decisions.
The third step requires attention and action to
avoid falling into the traps that our habit of overthinking keeps us-and for
the future is a few minutes, with the return to the same problem, or as the
next conflict arises.
Breaking ties with excessive thinking.
This first step is to concentrate all our efforts on
avoiding counterproductive thoughts, which are deeply rooted.
Understand that excessive thinking is your enemy.
Although in the middle of your mental and emotional hijacking you seem to
perceive certain lucidity ("I now realize I never wanted me", "I
must be realistic: I have never done my job well"), the fact is that
actually It is significantly reducing your vision so that you can only see the
negative things in your life. Excessive, repetitive and absorbent thinking does
not give you deep insights, but actually makes you lose control of your
thoughts and feelings. Lies to you and seduce you for you to think and do
things that do not benefit.
Take a break. Have you suddenly found trapped in the
treacherous thought? Take a break, literally and metaphorically. Breathe deeply
unsetting -first step in and do something else. Can distract you doing anything
like the place: a walk, cooks, go shopping, read a book, play with your kids
... Helping others is a great distraction that further solidifies your values
and sense of purpose to your life.
Move on. Physical activity has some biochemical
effects such as segregation in brain chemicals such as serotonin and
norepinephrine that positively affect mood and mindset.
Care and firmness. Aim to pay attention and stop
thinking of a forceful and assertive. Sometimes you storm the "crazy
monkey" thinking when you are in a situation that you cannot leave or distract.
As you detect that kind of circular thinking and corrosive shows your authority
in a forceful way, as you would with a small child who is threatening:
"Enough!", "Stop!" or any other expression that takes
effect yourself. Take it seriously.
Do not let your thoughts overcome you. Remember that
you are not your thoughts, and you take the rod control of your life. You can.
Mark your agenda. When you see that your thinking is
circular, useless and exhausting, or simply that it is not the time to devote to
it, make a place in your schedule to treat it at the right time, in the right
conditions. This is not to ignore or avoid problems but to address them in an
effective manner and in the best of circumstances.
Delegate your concerns. If not up to you, yourself
aside and let the problems in the hands of those who depend. If up to you,
certain spiritual attitudes as hope or confidence, and practices such as
meditation can help you distance yourself from your obsessions.
Lean on others. Talking with friends or people you
trust can help you organize your thoughts and expose unfounded fears.
Write a diary. Write down your thoughts helps you
not only organize, but to understand later approach your errors, your harmful
trends and your fears.
Find out what you like and use it to carry you feed
your energy and self-esteem. Search activities that will provide positive
emotions: go have a massage or gym, listen to your favorite music, go to
movies, go to dinner with your partner or friends.
Distract yourself and give back to the obsessive
thought.
What to do.
Go for a walk, do physical exercise, read a book,
listen to music you like, go to the movies, take up any of your hobbies (such
as painting, playing the piano, crafts), put order in the house, play with your
children, help with homework, go shopping, do volunteer work or helping others
...
Have the effect as distractions activities that
require a lot of concentration, and physical exercise.
Don'ts.
In no case resort to food: do not give binge or put
yourself in front of the TV to eat ice cream or junk food. The feeling of loss
of control that haunts you would be much stronger still, along with the
counterproductive effects for your health.
Do not resort to coffee as a stimulant, because it
will make you even more hyperactive crazy thought.
Do not drink alcohol to numb the pain. Alcohol acts
on the central nervous system as a depressant. You need positive energy, no
more loss of control.
More difficult still: stop thinking in the middle of
the night.
Attention! If in the middle of the night you start
to brood for more than fifteen minutes, do not fall into the trap of thinking
that turning to the problems that’ll solve or understand it better, or you
convince yourself that in a couple of minutes get to sleep . Think middle of
the night almost always accompanied by anxiety and fear. Moreover, if you lose
sleep the next day you will be tired and less able to concentrate and deal with
the most challenging situations.
Arise, go to a quiet place and do something to
distract you. When you start to feel sleepy, go back to bed.
It will take less time and be more restful than the
anxiety caused by insomnia overthinking.
Regain perspective.
After stopping the habit of obsessive thinking,
still you have to resolve the issue. It should be placed in a mental position
that allows gain some perspective of the problem, to address it effectively.
Focuses well. Prevents your fears distort your
vision. Interprets things as realistically as possible.
Acknowledge your emotions and move on. Accept your
depression, sadness and other negative emotions; do not let it sabotage your
plans. Get on with your life.
Simplify. Not always the cause of your problems is
deep and complicated. You can sulk just because you've slept well, you're tired
or incubas a cold.
Stop comparing yourself to others. In different
circumstances, things are different.
Do not wait to be rescued. Take charge of your life
and change things by yourself.
Let flow solutions. Take a look at all the
alternatives and choose the most suitable for you.
Aim higher. Define what you want and go for it,
sometimes costing as much effort to target other objectives that we consider
"intermediate".
Just to do something. When your goal requires time
and patience, plus a lot of energy, with the accounts-not enough to make a
modest action that gives you confidence and you charge the batteries.
Try it. Even if not quite sure that it works, try
this solution you have at your fingertips. You never know and you do not lose
anything by trying.
Lowering your expectations when things do not depend
on you. No useless suffering that things are not as you would like them to be.
They are as they are.
It understands that other people also have their
problems and limitations, like you. You will find peace if not accumulate more
resentment and hatred. Sometimes attitudes make you hurt other people who
simply have not been able to do otherwise.
Not lead your life the expectations of others.
Identifies when your obsessive thinking responds to the voice of others, which
have given them power to control your life. And scrape out that power.
How to avoid falling back into the trap.
Congratulations. By this time you have managed to
silence the inner voice of doubt and concern and have been unable to resolve
the problem satisfactorily. But one day, something happens (a conflict with a
friend, a critic at work) and is like a spring that returns you to the
quicksand of overthinking. How do I control it?
Avoid situations that can become obsessive. Beam
reduces or shorter visits to your mother if it means weeks of thinking too.
Removes targets that hurt you. You can give up
killing you lose 20 kilos of hunger and hope to lose weight in half with a
sensible regime.
Treat yourself with love. You can take your time to
go to the gym, meditate or take tea in the middle of moving, if someone
criticizes you for not "available" or "selfish".
Create a new image of yourself. Learn to see the
best of yourself, discover your potential and trust you.
The most common repetitive thoughts.
While each person has their own obsessive themes,
there are issues that concern everyone and that offer plenty of firewood
obsessive thinking.
Relationship issues: Not all relationships should
not be saved, but it is important to avoid old obsessive habits and
overprotective, set distance to see the situation as realistic as possible (if
necessary, with the help of therapy) and try to negotiate for avoid as much as
possible the most conflictive situations.
Family problems: It is important to understand and
accept that your relatives do not see the world exactly like you. Do your best
to avoid repetitive debates that do not lead anywhere or convince anyone.
Concerns with the children: Even less often
overprotective mother take over most of the responsibility of raising and
educating their children. Although you want to do well in school and not get
into trouble, they are healthy and get along with other children, there is
always going to be. Overcoming their problems will make them stronger so
welcomes the conflicts that have to be overcome. Dramatize your concerns will
not only help you but they provide a valuable mirror to themselves to avoid
future obsessive thoughts.
Work: Taking forward the house or how to promote
themselves professionally are continuing source of obsessive thoughts. Curbing
perfectionist tendencies or impulses victimhood helps us deal with conflict in
a more effective way. Criticize or blame for what does not work to others is a
false way to protect self-esteem.
In any case, do not forget your real goals: work.
When you touch feel pain (frustration, anger, jealousy or sadness because
things are not as they wish), stick to feel it while you concentrate on the
work that is important to do at that time. You'll end up going and you've
overcome and forgotten while doing something useful and productive.
Health: People with hypochondria are many more risks
of disease than those who simply care. Obsessed with diseases only manages to
block the natural functioning of the body and produce real dysfunctions. Use
relaxation techniques and, if seriously consider having some disease, check
yourself and clear your doubts. Once reassured, act positive: a positive and
happy attitude is the best way to protect your health and to adequate food and
exercise.
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