Scared of leaving my girlfriend after sleeping with her

Dear Aunty Julie,
I’m a good guy and I have conscience. I’m also aware that every sexual relationship must not end in marriage. But I hate to hurt a girl I’ve been to bed with. I’m afraid of leaving my girlfriend based on the fact that we slept together.I was her first, she wasn’t my first and she seems to be incredibly emotionally attached to me.

Considering that she is religious, although our sex was fully consensual, I am still afraid of what her stance could be if I broke up with her.

I don’t want her to hate me and I don’t want her to be too upset although that is very likely to happen considering. How do I approach this situation? I’m 26 and she’s 21. Pedro, Lagos

Dear Pedro,
It does get tricky when sex enters the picture, such as a partner getting too attached and thinking you’re together for life. But in the end, you can’t stay in a relationship because of your fears of hurting her feelings or of her telling people.

Have you made a decision that it is over from your point of view? Or are you worrying about how to tell her when it’s time? If you are enjoying the relationship and protecting her from pregnancy, just let things run their course.

You are both young and not likely to be ready to settle down yet. We do have an obligation to be honest and gentle to a partner. As you say, you don’t want to hurt her. There is no easy way to say a relationship is over.